Trump supporters arriving. Photo: Maria Ramos. 
Women ranchers for Trump. Photo: Maria Ramos. 
Student Trump supporter. Photo: Maria Ramos. 
Signs at the O’Rourke rally. Photo: Maria Ramos. 
Diverse participants at the anti-wall rally. Photo: Maria Ramos. 
“We, the people” Photo: Maria Ramos.
Guest reporter Maria Ramos is a former Editor in Chief of The College VOICE.
EL, PASO, TX – On February 11, I walked out of my house in El Paso and faced blaring music coming from the open garage of the guy across the street. “Fuck Donald Trump! Fuck Donald Trump! Fuck the Wall!” the lyrics boomed.
The president himself was just blocks away at The Coliseum holding a MAGA rally in support of his beloved border wall. Across from The Coliseum, former senatorial candidate Beto O’Rourke was leading a counter rally.
It was into this divided world that I set out to get the story, not sure what that story was.
Two years ago I wrote a column for my college newspaper about the experience of being Mexican living in the US in the age of Trump. I wrote it just months after he’d given his famous speech describing Mexicans as “rapists.”
At the time I was living in New Jersey, working as a nanny and putting myself through community college on a cross country athlete scholarship.
In the article I described my experience coming to the US from my native Chihuahua, crossing the bridge over the Rio Grande at El Paso with all the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents staring at me and approaching with barking dogs. I described the knot in my stomach that grew from the sense that I had done something wrong, that I had something to hide despite the fact that I had all my expensive paperwork and visa in hand.
Now, two years later, I have completed community college with an A.S. degree in journalism and find myself back in El Paso, continuing my studies at the University of Texas.
Since writing that article in 2017 the anti-Mexican rhetoric in the US has only gotten worse. Now the president says that the fictional Mexican rapists are going to wrap American women in duct tape (why duct tape?). He has even gone so far as to shut down the government to get billions of dollars for the wall despite the fact that at least half a dozen mayors of towns along the border have said the immigration crisis is manufactured, that various barriers already exist, and that building the so-called wall would be a disaster for their economy.
The mayor of El Paso, Dee Margo, is among those who have spoken out, disagreeing vehemently with the president’s assessment that he gave in the State of the Union address a week ago that El Paso–a city of roughly 2.5 million people–has become the “safest” city in Texas as a result of the wall that has been built here.
The mayor said, “We were, going back to 2005, one of the safest cities in the nation. The barrier went up and the fence went up and it’s only about ten miles long.” He noted that for more than 400 years El Paso and the Mexican state of Juarez have had a productive history of cooperation. I know that from my own experiences as a kid when we used to come up to the US to go shopping.
It was cold and windy as I walked toward The Coliseum. People of all ages, from toddlers to senior citizens were streaming through the streets, most wearing the red MAGA hats.
I felt scared and confused. I kept looking at the people and thinking: Oh, man, that guy looks like a student who could be in my classes, or that other person looks like someone I would hang out with, but they hate me and think I’m here to steal the jobs. In their minds, I’m one of the crazy rapists with my roll of duct tape, or maybe I’m here to get pregnant and have an “anchor baby.”
People were shouting things like, “Build the wall! Make America great again! Keep out the Mexicans!”
And then it got worse. I saw a woman up ahead yelling, “We need the wall! We need the wall now! Mexicans for Trump! Mexicans for Trump!”
I was in total shock. Mexicans for Trump? I thought, Oh gosh this lady is crazy. But then I saw people holding the Mexican flag and chanting “Trump 2020! Trump 2020!” I couldn’t believe it.
I pushed through the fear, remembering that even though I couldn’t possibly be objective in this situation, my job as a reporter is to set my concerns aside and get the story.
I approached the lady who was holding the Mexican flag and wearing a MAGA hat.
“Why do you support Trump?” I asked.
She looked at me.
“It’s not your business, but let me tell you something. He is right and he doesn’t hate Mexicans, he just hates bad people,” she said.
Before I could ask her something else she was gone.
I stayed outside the Trump rally for about an hour and a half taking photos, videos and talking to Trump supporters. I wasn’t able to get inside The Coliseum, so eventually, I let myself cross the street to the March For Truth organized by the Democrats from El Paso and Beto O’Rourke.
The scene could not have been more different. The cold air was the same, everyone all bundled up, but the people were there to march against Trump and the construction of the wall. They were wearing Mexican sombreros or arapes, and holding signs that said things like, “Mexico it’s our friend!” and “El Paso is safe. Trump is not.”
A young lady who was attending The March For Truth asked who asked to be anonymous since she was attending this event without the approval of her parents, she traveled all the way here from Dallas, TX.
“I decide to come tonight, even that my parents don’t approve this, I believe this is the right thing to do for our country and show Trump that we are done with his lies.”
As soon as the mariachi band finished their last song, Veronica Escobar, Texas representative for the 16th congressional district was sharing the stage with a couple of the organizers of Women’s March from El Paso. Escobar stepped up to the microphone and introduced O’Rourke.
“Our hometown hero, our tireless advocate, please help me give a loud El Paso welcome to our own Beto O’Rourke!” Escobar called out.
Attendants started to chant, “Beto! Beto! Beto!” The crowd roared, clapping, smiling, and holding their signs high as he arrived on the scene.
O’Rouke started by talking about how immigrants are very valuable in the US and why diversity is important for the country. He remarked that this was a special night to show not only Trump but the whole country and the world that El Paso is a safe community, that people here don’t need and don’t support hate and the wall.
Of course, it was comforting to listen to O’Rourke, but my mind drifted back to the people speaking Spanish, wearing MAGA hats and holding the Mexican flag. It stung in a way that was hard to describe. I wanted to stay wrapped in the warm words of O’Rouke and the people at his rally, but the hate on the other side of the street wouldn’t leave me.
As the evening wore on I could not stop thinking: Why do any Mexicans support Trump? Did they already forget their culture? Why do they want a wall? After all, they are here because past generations of Mexicans came here seeking the “American Dream.”
Journalists have devoted endless ink to examining why Americans from various groups–from poor white men to affluent white women–supported Donald Trump in 2016. One theory that I’ve read seems like it may help to explain what I saw.
Researchers Christine Kray, Tamar Carroll and Hinda Mandell who wrote the book Nasty Women and Bad Hombres: Gender and Race in the 2016 Us Presidential Election suggest conservative women voted for and continue to support Trump not in spite of his degrading comments about women but because to them his behavior signals support for traditional gender roles. These women often base their sense of identity on the role of being homemakers and caregivers who promote the success of their husbands and male children. The allure of this archetypal role causes many women to reject calls for women’s equality and in fact, find them threatening.
Mexico is well known for its culture of machismo, where stereotypical manliness and a historical acceptance of men’s place atop the social hierarchy is deeply ingrained. So maybe it’s not totally surprising that many of the people I saw holding the “Mexicans for Trump” signs were women. Maybe it also helps account for why Ted Cruz, who vigorously supports these “traditional” values of male superiority, was able to gain enough votes from Mexican American citizens in Texas to narrowly beat out O’Rourke for the Senate seat three months ago.
In the 1940s the US and Mexico created the “Bracero program” which encouraged Mexicans to come and work legally in the States, mostly on farms. These workers existed in the culture of machismo and brought it with them along with their wives and children. Three or four generations later, some of their descendants may still be holding on to those roles in a way that I cannot understand, which feels like hatred to me, but which somehow feels reassuring to them.
Only by trying to step away and rely on rational, analytic thinking can I find some way to reconcile what I saw in those two rallies. Beyond that, there is no good way to process the experience of being caught between the currents of love and hate.
Guest reporter Maria Ramos is a former Editor in Chief of The College VOICE. She lives and goes to university in El Paso, Texas and writes for a variety of publications including Newsweek where she has contributed work in Spanish for the Mexico edition.
