Amanda Rivera and her husband Chris got married when they were 21 and 26. Now celebrating six years of marriage Rivera explains that it was difficult but worth it.
Their choice to get married at a young age was a shock to their family, Rivera says, explaining that she and her husband were constantly asked if they wanted to go through with it.
Rivera says “A lot of people asked us, are you sure? I know it’s people showing concern but it was a lot. Even with that though we never had second thoughts.”
When asked if she felt she missed out on life because of her early marriage she says she’s sure she did not. She feels she has been able to achieve the things she always wanted while being married.” Most things that I’ve wanted to get done I’ve been able to do so” Rivera stated
From my own experience, my grandparents got married at the age of 19 and have been happily married for over 40 years. Their success has given me hope because even though things were different in that time, it still shows that young marriage can flourish and become long term as well as happy. Growing up to have them as role models in my life makes me think about my own path.
I hope to get married sometime in the near future and I am just 19 years old. From my perspective, if you love someone enough and have the means to get married: just do it.
So that raises the key question: why is it such an odd thing to get married young? What are people so worried about? One reason people don’t get married young is due to expenses.
Oftentimes, people want a big wedding that can cost a lot of money. As someone who doesn’t want a big wedding, this did not seem to bother me. When thinking of marriage at a young age, there are several benefits. Most young couples worry about expenses but depending on the state you live in there can be financial help for you such as low income housing and, for college students, the Pell Grant, a form of financial aid.
Another reason why most people are changing their minds about marriage or getting married young is because of the fact that they do not want to have children. While this can be valid, many married people do not have children and in my opinion it should not keep you from wanting to be with your partner, just so you can live a child-free life.
Marriage at a young age can be truly beautiful and does come with social benefits, you spend your life and 20s with your best friend and if you choose the right person you are more likely to stay with them forever.
When getting married young, a factor that many don’t think about is the sexual partners that they have had. At a younger age you are more likely to marry your first or not have experience and a study from the Institute for Family Studies suggests that this may actually be beneficial for a long term relationship.
In “The Myth of Sexual Experience,” Jason S. Carroll, Ph.D. is Associate Director of the Wheatley Institute, writes “While over 1 in 5 spouses in the [sexually] Inexperienced group were likely to report a very high level of relationship satisfaction, only 1 in 7 of those in the More Experienced group were likely to report the same level of satisfaction.”
Many young people see their 20s as a time to live their life and fulfill their careers. They do not want to be bothered with the idea of marriage. If you have a spouse who doesn’t support your career and what you want to do this is a great point against getting married.
On the other hand if you know that your partner just wants you to be happy there are studies that show that when a spouse is your “cheerleader” if you will, it encourages that person to succeed more and take higher risks that enhance their career.
In a study Brooke Feeney a professor from Carnegie Mellon University expressed “Significant others can help you thrive through embracing life opportunities. Or they can hinder your ability to thrive by making it less likely that you’ll pursue opportunities for growth,”
Getting married at a young age can also help you and your partner mold as a couple if you grow up together and know everything about one another. Though young marriage is not highly looked upon in recent years you should not let the fear of other people get in the way.
When wanting to marry someone if you truly love each other it will happen anyway and as I said before there are pros and help if needed when getting married young. The number one rule in a marriage is to put your spouse first if you don’t do that you cannot succeed.
Rivera’s advice makes sense to me. She says, “Always put your relationship first. I’m sure everything will fall into place”
