How I see “Love on the Spectrum” as someone on the spectrum
By Ben Levitt
I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), when I was about 13. Life as an autistic young adult is interesting to say the least, mainly when it comes to dating and understanding social cues, which is what the show Love on the Spectrum, is about.
Love on the Spectrum, is a special addition to Netflix’s reality show line up because all the key cast members are on the autism spectrum. The show follows six young adults from Australia who are navigating the dating scene and trying to figure out what love really means to them.
“I’d like to find someone that would be easy like breathing” shares one of the cast members, Kassandra, in a group interview for ABC. “Because maybe that’s what love is, and I’d want to spend my life with that person,” she adds.
Kassandra was the character I most identified with because of how similar our experiences are. During her first interview she opened up about how she would constantly get comments like “but you don’t look autistic,” which is something that I get every time I tell someone that I am. I can’t put it any better than she did when asked if she was ever told that, “Quite often. You can’t see my brain, and it’s my brain that’s different.”
I also resonated with her entire experience. Especially her reaction to being diagnosed as autistic. She goes on to say that she was relieved when she was told that she was autistic because it gave her a sense of belonging because there were more people like her and she wasn’t alone. I remember clearly when I was told by the doctor that I was autistic. When I was diagnosed I said “that makes a lot of sense”.
As Kassandra said, you know something is off. You know that you aren’t like the other kids growing up. You know that you have difficulties with things that they necessarily don’t. And just like her, I would count my official diagnosis as one of the best things that’s happened to me, because it gave me a sense of what was “off” and how I could work on it. It gave me a starting point.
I was unsure about the show at first. It is very common for autistic people to be the butt of the joke. You tend to see people say “stop being so autistic” or “you’re so autistic,” when they mean it as an obvious insult.
I was worried that this show would be problematic, but I don’t think it is. The only thing about this show that I did not like was that there was an emphasis on putting neurodiverse people with other neurodiverse people. Maybe for season three they’ll change that.
Overall the show truly is trying to show neurotypical people that “hey, we also want love.” And I think they got that pretty spot on.
I think the show did a good job, but just like with art, it is all in the eye of the beholder. This show could be a complete failure in its mission if you have someone look at it and think “dumb autistic guy can’t talk to girls.”
The mission for autistic people is no longer awareness, it is acceptance. And this show is a very good first step in that mission, but only if people are kind enough to understand that.
How I see “Love on the Spectrum” as someone neurotypical
By Madhavi Steinert
Love on the Spectrum, a Netflix reality series, is not your average dating show. Unlike most shows in this genre which seem to focus on the failures of the participants, in this show the cast–six autistic individuals in Australia– are supported on their journeys to find love and companionship.
The second season of Love on the Spectrum, was released on September 21, and like the first, it features six-episodes in which producer Cian O’Clery follows the cast members as they work up to and then go on dates with other people on the spectrum.
What’s so special about this show is the tone of faith, optimism, hope, and even bravery. These individuals are stepping out of their comfort zones and venturing into the world of dating, daunting for most people and harder still for those who have difficulty grasping social cues.
At the beginning of the second season, Michael, who was also on season 1, tries speed dating, and goes on a few follow up dates with Heather who is also on the spectrum. He likes things formal and she seems willing to go along with his preferences.
Meanwhile, Kassandra, who loves cosplay and saves her baby teeth, goes on one date but has a panic attack. You can’t help but root for her to push through and it’s a relief when she doesn’t let it discourage her and goes on another date with someone different and has a better experience.
My favorite member of the show is Ronan, who receives advice from Jodi Rodgers, a counselor who has her own private practice, Birds and Bees, and helps make learning about human sexuality more relevant and accessible especially to people on the spectrum. On the show, she helped Ronan become familiar with the formalities of first dates by going through potential conversations and scenarios.
Ronan nails his first date, a picnic by the water with Katie, who has Down syndrome. As the show reveals in its last episode, their relationship is still going strong.
The show does a fantastic job of highlighting the autistic experience, destigmatizing the differences between neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals while also uniting the two different groups under one human interest.
When asked about being diagnosed with autism, Kassandra said, “I was happy, having someone tell me that, ‘No, this is what it is, and there are thousands of other people like you.’ It made me feel human again. I didn’t feel completely outcast anymore.”
What’s most important to take away from Love on the Spectrum is that autistic people experience humanity differently than those not on the spectrum, but everyone, neurodivergent or not, brings and takes different things to and from romantic experiences.
For neurotypical audiences, this show offers incredible insight into the autistic experience.
Showrunner O’Clery said in a podcast with Caris Bizzaca of Screen Australia on July 2, 2021, “The initial kernel of the idea was about raising awareness that people on the spectrum do want to date and want to have relationships just like everybody else does, but as we make the show and as we’ve made the second series, it becomes about showing the true diversity of the spectrum.”
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