As I write this, my room looks like a tornado hit it. I’m a little depressed. I haven’t been getting enough sunlight. Every time I turn on my space heater my lamp flickers and I have been religiously dodging any and all questions regarding my okayness. I am okay, I’m just sad. I am dealing with S.A.D. which stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder.
The condition, according to American Psychiatric Association has the same as the criteria as major depressive disorder but is recurrent for two consecutive seasons. It’s more likely that you have S.A.D. if you have a pre-existing mental condition. As someone diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and alcohol dependence. I almost feel like I never had a chance to not have S.A.D..
The American Academy of Family Physicians says that “About 4 to 6 percent of people may have winter depression. Another 10 to 20 percent may have mild S.A.D. S.A.D. is four times more common in women than in men.”
So I am not alone. But it feels incredibly isolating when you find it hard to vocalize certain mental struggles to your professors. I’m not always sure how to tell my professors that I can’t come to class because I barely have the energy to brush my teeth. Even when I do make it to class, and I raise my hand and get marked “present” a lot of the time I am not. I am worrying about transfer applications, A.A. meetings, whether my classmates can smell my dirty hair, and when I can get my next sugar fix.
Which makes sense because the APA adds, “The most commonly reported S.A.D. symptoms include significant fatigue, pervasively sad mood, loss of interest in activities, sleeping more than usual, craving and eating more starches and sweets, gaining at least 5 percent of body weight and difficulty concentrating.”
According to an APA feature with S.A.D. expert Kelly Rohan, it’s not the cold weather that causes this mood change but the tilt of the sun in relation to the Earth. SAD is a subtype of depression sparked by a lack of sunlight. This affects North Americans slightly more, with people in the South being less affected due to their physical location to the sun.
But while many people may not meet the overall qualifications for full S.A.D. many people experience some form of seasonal lower mood and fatigue. This is especially the case for college students. A survey comprised of 25 Mercer students found that nearly 80 percent experienced a mood decline due to the transition from summer to fall/winter. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have S.A.D.; it differs from the winter blues. The Mercer student survey also indicated that most Mercer students find exercise to be an effective coping mechanism.
Other treatments for lower grade seasonal blues include vitamin D3 supplements and meditation. For more severe forms, light therapy and anti-depressants may be prescribed. Kelly Rohan, the S.A.D. expert, believes that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the best treatment for S.A.D. and I believe that to be true.
I have been to CBT. You learn about certain errors in thinking, like catastrophizing which is when you have one small thing seem to turn into a huge problem in your mind.
For example, sometimes, I feel like if I get one bad grade will cause me to fail the class, and lose my financial aid, and somehow end up homeless. CBT is designed to help confront that kind of thinking.
CBT also emphasizes the importance of self care which doesn’t always look like face masks and essential oil diffusers. Self care looks different for everyone and finding my own mode of self care has helped me a lot.
CBT has been a big help particularly because it’s usually done in a group setting which always makes me feel safe and validated.
If you are struggling with low mood yourself right now, it’s important to let yourself feel your feelings. It’s not reasonable to expect to be happy every second of your life, but check in and see if what you’re going through is something you can take steps to alleviate either with small changes or with professional help or some combination.
Even though I know it’s hard, because it is for me, try to be patient with yourself and let your professors and friends know that you’re struggling. Most professors are understanding about mental health and its impact on student success. They will often work to give you extra time or help to keep up with your work. They can also just offer a listening ear.
Life happens, the sun hides, but life does go on.
